run fat boy run

so I've been training for a half marathon...

it all started in may of 2008. It was the last high school night of my church youth intern career and I was speaking. I talked on your body being a temple and as usual attempted to deconstruct it way too much. Only this time I felt I was onto something...and not only that, for once I felt like I was talking to myself as much as to the students (sad I know)

I talked of how we miss so much of what God has for us individually when we understand verses like this simply in terms of abstaining from sex. While this is probably something worthwhile, I talked of how there was so much more...if our bodies truly are a temple of God, then...what about what we eat? what about how much we eat? what about what we do after we eat? what about why we eat? what about how much time we sit on our backsides and watch tv or play pro ev? what about the time we goto bed? what about the time we get up? what about exercise? what about what we watch on tv... you get the idea?!

and it spoke to me

and i did absolutely nothing about it.


then 7 months later I went home for Christmas. at the time i was a top notch 205 pounds (14.5 stone). which is way more than i had ever weighed before. And, as only northern Ireland people can do, everyone seemingly made me aware of my chin and my overweightness! It was definitely true, and at the heart of it was a lifestyle of god-knows-how-long laziness. Fortunately, I didn't really fall into my usual insecurities and subsequent depression. Mainly because I think I was able to see God using all the abuse as reminding me of the talk I gave 7 months ago.

now, i really hate running. I mean REALLY hate it. It's so boring. I love sports- I'll play anything that can occupy my brain- where I can think (and by think I mean look for the closest and best player to hack on a football pitch and work out how i can do it without getting caught...). But that's the problem with running- there's no passes to make, no runs into the box to wish I could make, no set plays...just running

but I came back home to Reno in mid January amid Sheena signing up for new classes...one of which was a marathon class.

I decided to do it for a number of reasons.

For one, I think i managed to convince her to lower it to a half marathon. It was also a perfect opportunity to work on that templeness daily. Before I knew it I was buying ridiculously overpriced shoes, eating daily shakes of pure fruit, counting calories, eating healthily, running 5 or 6 times a week and very occasionally I even enjoyed it (although those occasions where about as infrequent as Rafa rotating his squad.) It was also a really good opportunity for me to commit to something (something which I'm not so hot at) and not only that, but to commit to something I absolutely hate (which for me is huge! As a big advocate of the 'if you don't enjoy it don't do it' rule for life, there was something profound for me to be doing something purely, or mainly, because I had committed to it!)

About mid to late March I was absolutely cruising. I had even beaten my goal for a race time during one practice run (i think this was the only run I enjoyed and definitely couldn't have done it without U2's newly released album). I finished the 13.1 miles in 1hr52 minutes i think it was- which destroyed my goal of 2hrs for may!!

Subsequently however, I have stopped. I'm not sure why, but it kinda just happened. It's been like 3 or 4 weeks I think. I was happy with myself, I was quite proud in fact (in a not too unhealthy way as well!) I had beaten my goal already and was eating healthily (plus my football season was starting too). But whatever...i stopped.

And I didn't really care either. The only time I felt bad was when Sheena got sad.

But somewhere deep down, there was still the commitment aspect. I had also fallen into my oft-lamented routine of drink lots of beer, stay up late, wake up late, sit around and play xbox most of the day. and this bothered me the most (although, thanks to my job at bjs i think, this time was not followed by the usual spiral of Matthew depression!!)

Which brought me today, when I was playing pro evo on my own with no-one in the house. I felt a little depressed- I could feel the spiral beginning to vortex it's way back into my skull and eventually my life. So I went outside into the ridiculous-makesmereallygladtoliveinreno type heat and read. here's some of what I read

'we think health should be defined holistically, not just "spiritually". I've met a lot of people who will say "It doesn't really matter whether your emotional life is in shambles, as long as your spirit is in good health, then you're fine"...we are holistic human beings. There's no such thing as health in one part and a disease in another part. If we are hurting, we are hurting in the whole person...you cannot be healthy spiritually, as it's constructed within modern Evangelical framework and a jerk to live with. So, in other words, if I am holistically connected or systemically connected, if I want to pursue spiritual health, I can do that sexually as my sexuality is part of the whole of me. If i get healthier sexually, I have ipso facto become healthier spiritually. If I am becoming clearer in my faith, that is more clear in my understating about God (i.e. spiritual health) I am ipso facto becoming more emotionally healthy. IF I AM PURSUING AN EXERCISE REGIMEN AND I'M PRACTICING GOOD NUTRITION AND MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS GOING DOWN, I AM IPSO FACTO BECOMING HEALTHIER SEXUALLY AND SPIRITUALLY. We are connected holistically like this'

And so I got off my lounger and went and ran a bit. And during the run I felt good, almost like I hadn't stopped. I enjoyed it and recommitted to run the half marathon next month!

so here's to my blood pressure or something...